Coming to the Shelter of a Real Jagad-Guru

Ram Parashar

The purpose of sharing my story here is to show how Srila Prabhupada, due to his causeless mercy, is giving shelter to fallen souls like myself. I was born in brahmin family in Central India in 1952. My father was a practicing advocate in the Supreme Court. He was also a Member of Parliament. So I grew up in New Delhi. After completing High School, I went to Bhopal to study Engineering. My father was a very religious and learned man, initiated in the Ramanuja sampradaya. I grew up in a very spiritual atmosphere, regularly reading and discussing philosophy with my family, and worshiping family deities from very early childhood. I got my first copy of Bhagavad-Gita when I was only thirteen and I began reading it as a part of my daily puja.

My first contact with ISKCON was in 1971 in New Delhi. Srila Prabhupada, after successfully preaching in the west, was back in India and was organizing massive pandal programs My father received an invitation to attend such a program in Delhi. That was also the time of Mahesh Yogi, Rajneesh and many other self-appointed, self-proclaimed “Avatars and Bhagavans.” My father was very upset with all those bogus bhogi-yogis and their cheating philosophies. At that time, Devananda’s Hare Ram Hare Krishna movie was also very popular in India, damaging the image of ISKCON by depicting devotees as drug addicts. So, unfortunately, my father, without investigating, lumped Prabhupada and ISKCON with all the others and threw the invitation flyer in the garbage in front of me with the remark, “Here comes another America Returned Guru!” Unfortunately, out of respect for my father, this negative first impression of ISKCON stayed with me for more than ten years.

Coming to America

Upon graduating from college, I came to Chicago in 1974 for “Higher Studies” in Computer Sciences. In my very first week at IIT Chicago, I met a couple of devotees in the college library who approached me and tried to preach to me. Remembering my father’s comments, I quickly excused myself, not to waste any of my “valuable” time. A few months later I needed a dentist. A friend of mine referred me to one Dr. Trivedi (who is now Vishwambhar das living in North Carolina) who was then practicing in Chicago as well as preaching for the temple. He gave me many Prabhupada books and BTGs. Over the next few years he kindly visited my home several times and showed me many Krishna Conscious programs. Still I was reluctant to take things further. I thought that with an American degree, decent job, new car, nice apartment and some money in the bank I had everything I wanted. However, my mother’s death shook me greatly, and as a result I visited the Hare Krishna Temple. There I met Vishwambhar Prabhu who presented me with a copy of Prabhupada’s Science of Self Realization. I refused to accept it. He then said something which touched me, “I am your friend and am giving this to you as a gift. Why don’t you at least take it and keep it in your home?” Reluctantly I brought the book home and tossed it on my bookshelf.

In 1980 one Dr. Lal visited my place for a business meeting with his nephew, one Navin Krishna, whose intention it was to preach to me. I did not appreciate Navin Krishna Prabhu’s constant interruptions to our business meeting. I told him so. As it happened I had Prabhupada’s Bhagavad-gita on my table in front of us. As Navin Krishna Prabhu was leaving, frustrated in his attempts to preach to me, he turned around and spoke the prophetic words, “As long as you have that book in your home, I have some hope for you.”

Looking back I can see how these personal experiences later convinced me of the great importance of placing Srila Prabhupada’s books in people’s homes, especially the educated Indians.

As a social and political leader of India and as a practicing Vaishnava, my father was very disturbed by the direction India and the world in general were headed, with all kinds of social and political problems, wars, etc. As I was growing up, I would regularly hear him share his vision of world unity, world peace, and hopefully, someday, “One World Government.” I was always attracted to and fascinated by that utopian goal. However, I also felt that although he had a wonderful dream he had no practical plan to achieve it. I used to read a lot of books but never came across any practical and convincing plan of action to achieve that mission.

Introduction to the Science of Self Realization

At the end of 1982, I happened to read a couple of pages of Science of Self Realization out of curiosity. This turned out to be a major turning point of my life. It was a chapter in the middle of the book called “Crime: Why and What to do?” which particularly impressed me and convinced me of Srila Prabhupada’s principles and practical plan for real world peace, harmony and unity. I thought that here at last was a practical blue print for “One World Government”—Krishna Conscious Government headed by Vaishnavas. So far I had thought that Hare Krishna devotees were drop outs from society, bothering people at airports for donations and jumping up and down in the street with no real practical philosophy. After reading SSR cover to cover, for the first time I began to understand and appreciate the philosophy of sanatan dharma. As a computer scientist, I was immediately impressed by, and attracted to, the sound logic of SSR and Vedic sciences.

At this time I decided to become a life member of ISKCON and began to learn more about the Hare Krishna philosophy. I also for the first time attended the mangal-arati and the full morning program in the temple and found it to be very spiritually enlivening. Meanwhile, the more I learned about ISKCON and got more involved, the more I began to appreciate the miracles of Srila Prabhupada. Actually, I was really fascinated by the fact that he did all this in such a short time and that he was still attracting and inspiring people towards Krishna in spite of his taking samadhi in 1977. I began to feel the merciful hand of Srila Prabhupada very patiently guiding me and helping me even though I was initially so much in maya.

As I began to chant and read regularly, I felt my years of confusion clearing away and felt a deep satisfaction within my heart after reading Srila Prabhupada’s books. So much so that I rearranged my business schedule in such a way that I was reading at least four hours every day. I still remember the tremendous bliss that I would get after reading Srimad-Bhagavatam and other Prabhupada books every day. I also discovered the great joy of preaching, especially vigorously sharing Srila Prabhupada’s books with others.

My father was a great devotee of Lord Rama. So from the very beginning of my life he taught me to meditate on and chant the holy name Rama. Before accepting Srila Prabhupada as my guru, I was greatly impressed by Mahatma Gandhi. He was my hero and role model. He attributed all his success and powers to chanting the holy name Rama. So I was chanting “Rama” very faithfully all my life Therefore when a very nice devotee, Janakinath Prabhu, had asked me to chant the Hare Krishna mahamantra, I was very reluctant to even try it. However, he convinced me to do an experiment just for one month to chant just one round of the mahamantra in addition to whatever else I was doing in my daily puja. By Lord Chaitanya and Srila Prabhupada’s mercy I was convinced within a month of the power and benefits of the mahamantra and I began to chant the Hare Krishna only. Within a year I was convinced to start chanting sixteen rounds a day which I am struggling to do even now.

Reading the Gita and Joining ISKCON

Janakinath Prabhu had also asked me to start reading Bhagavad-Gita As It Is by Srila Prabhupada. By this time, I had been reading Bhagavad-Gita daily for the last almost twenty years since my father gave me my first copy in 1965. I had read several famous translations of Bhagavad-Gita including Vivekananda, Gandhi, Tilak, Swami Chinmayanand’s etc. I would pose myself as an expert on Bhagavad-Gita to my friends and with whatever little knowledge I had, they would get highly impressed. However, I used to often wonder, “Why do people praise Gita so much—I don’t find anything in it so impressive or useful!” But my father had told me that if I kept reading it, then one day, by God’s mercy, I would understand the value of the Gita.

When I started reading Bhagavad-Gita As It Is, my initial reaction was of disappointment, even of frustration. From the very beginning, on practically every page Prabhupada was explaining how Lord Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the goal of our life is to serve Him. I thought that that was Prabhupada’s own interpretation. I grew up believing Rama to be the Supreme and ideal, plus I had a lot of misunderstanding about Krishna. Also, because I was very proud of my knowledge of Gita, I did not want to understand or accept the very clear message of Gita as presented by Srila Prabhupada.

So I stopped after reading a few pages and complained about this to Janakinath. He politely requested me to read this version of Gita at least once cover to cover before judging it. If I was satisfied, I could accept the message of Prabhupada. If not, I could forget the whole thing. So in the next couple of months I read Bhagavad-Gita As It Is cover to cover and in doing so I was totally convinced about the authenticity of Srila Prabhupada’s presentation and gladly accepted it. For the first time in my life I really began to understand the importance and relevance of the message of Gita, and how to apply it in my daily life. Indeed, once again my father’s words came to be true, thanks to the causeless mercy of my eternal father, Srila Prabhupada!

A significant even took place in 1986 by Lord Krishna’s mercy to speed up my surrender to Lord Krishna. I had come to America for purely material goals—economic development and sense enjoyment. And doing a business and becoming successful in it was the best means of achieving these goals. However, my original goal of coming to USA was for “Higher Studies.” After ten years, Srila Prabhupada finally convinced me that Krishna Consciousness was indeed the “Higher or even the Highest Study.” But now, unfortunately, I was deeply involved in my business. Early 1986 my business which was all set to earn me my first million suddenly fell apart. I lost everything. I began to wonder—is it “yasyaham angrhnama haisye tad-dhanm sanaih” happening to me? Is Krishna showing me His mercy by taking away my material opulence? A few months later, I decided to wind up my business, and move into the Chicago temple.

In early 1988 I went to India and was offered the post of National Director of Public Relations (Communications) for ISKCON India and the challenge of setting up the first such office from the scratch. I tried that sincerely for five years but realized that I was not really qualified for the post for various reasons. Most importantly, I was not “initiated!”—which was being taken as my lack of surrender and faith in ISKCON and its system.

Protection by Srila Prabhupada

When I had started becoming active, 1983-84, it was the period before the “Guru Reform” in ISKCON. Rameswar Maharaja was the “Zonal Acharya” for Chicago. I was greatly impressed by his powerful personality as well as his tremendous success in pushing the sankirtan movement by massive book distribution. I was convinced of the need and importance of “surrendering” to a bonafide guru. Rameswar Maharaja was the obvious and (only!) choice at that time. And several of my devotee friends at the temple as well from outside were not only taking initiation from Maharaja, they were convincing me to also “surrender” so that I could advance properly.

Fortunately when I became active, I was personally cultivated by His Grace Kalki Prabhu who was the president of Chicago temple. He was a very mature and wonderful devotee and a great personal friend. When I consulted him on this initiation issue, he, without going into all the details of what was going on at that time so that I would not get discouraged, simply asked me to just wait for some more time. By 1985-86 Rameswar Maharaja’s problems became known and I felt Krishna and Prabhupada had protected me.

By my karma, by this time I was very attracted to New Vrindavan and Kirtanananda Maharaja. Same drama took place again—I felt tremendous pressure from both inside and outside to “Surrender” to a powerful and a “bonafide” guru. Once again Kalki Prabhu in a very tactful way protected me from disaster. By my luck, I met Kirtanananda Maharaja again, this time in New Delhi in January of 1987. Again the same powerful message to “surrender NOW and that I am the only greatest pure devotee available!”

My father had just passed away there and I was feeling this great urge in my heart to accelerate my spiritual progress. I remember after hearing his lecture one day, I tossed and turned whole night thinking about “surrendering and taking shelter of a bonafide guru” the next morning. I did not know at that time anything about the problems of New Vrindavan or Kirtanananda Maharaja. I was so dumb and naïve! So even though I was totally convinced logically, something deep within me kept telling to just wait. Very soon when I found out the “glories” of Kirtanananda Maharaja, I again thanked Srila Prabhupada one more time for saving me from one more bogus “bonafide” guru of ISKCON.

In the last 12 years of my association with ISKCON, about 10 times I thought of taking initiation from various prospective “bonafide” gurus whom either I found inspiring or were recommended to me by my friends and well wishes. And every time, some difficulty came.

Srila Prabhupada’s Personal Guidance

Now I am convinced, more than ever before that Srila Prabhupada has been guiding me and protecting me and will continue to do so as long as I remain faithfully surrendered to his instructions. He is the one who has brought me to ISKCON and Krishna and has kept me in in spite of myself and many of the wonderful “gurus and leaders” of ISKCON. Also, most of the leaders in ISKCON who know my story have also advised me to wait as long as is necessary till I find someone who really inspires me and in whom I can place total faith. Knowing my own heart however I have already found that person who inspires me, and in whom I can place total faith—Srila Prabhupada. The looking was actually over a long time ago, though I did not know it at the time.

Anyhow all my years in ISKCON have been a great learning experience. I learned a great deal about the “real” ISKCON from inside. Only my deep faith in Krishna and Prabhupada kept me going on. My most important realization is that Srila Prabhupada is still present and supervising everything and making necessary adjustments in ISKCON individually as well as collectively. Some major adjustments were done ten years ago. Some others are due now! Ever since I accepted Srila Prabhupada as my guru and guide in my heart, he has kindly helped me and guided me perfectly at every step of my life. I will just share one personal example here.

I had established myself in my business quite successfully by 1985. However, my father was very old and sick by now. So, I was under a lot of pressure from him as well as all my other family members to get married and settle down while he was alive.

At this time I was still living far away from the temple and only once in a while I would get a chance to attend the morning program of mangal arati and the Bhagavatam class at the temple.

It just so happened that in June of 1986 I was to visit Grand Rapids near Detroit for a business conference. So I decided to stay overnight at the Detroit temple, attend the morning program and then go to the conference. In the morning I was very tired but I still dragged myself to the Bhagavatam class. I was very surprised to see that out of the eighteen thousand slokas of Bhagavatam, the sloka that day on board was S. B. 5.5.18—“gurur na sa syat. . . .”!

“One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod.”!!

I took it as very clear and direct instruction from Lord Krishna in one of my most personal and baffling problems of those days. So I decided to become a better and more fixed up devotee and spend extra time to learn to “deliver my future dependents from the path of repeated birth and death before wanting to become a husband and a father.” And considering the unusual circumstances in which I received the instruction, I was convinced that Srila Prabhupada was indeed personally guiding and helping me.

Current Situation

Since 1993 I have been in Los Angeles attempting to do whatever little seva I am capable of doing peacefully, without getting involved in politics or inviting pressure for initiation and “surrender.” Only a few people I feel are mature enough to care to see and value one’s surrender to Srila Prabhupada—to his instructions and service to him. For most of the people, especially those in management, the first and the most important sign of surrender is to see a “dasa” at the end of one’s name!

Kalki Prabhupada taught me that “Problems will come to purify you.” That advice has been very meaningful to me in the last ten years. It has helped me to turn to Krishna through Srila Prabhupada every time a problem came. Another very practical lesson I was taught was to be “spiritually dependent on ISKCON but be materially independent” to do my seva peacefully. Keeping this principle in mind, I have set up a nonprofit corporation, “Ram Rajya Foundation” to organize my preaching efforts here. It is being set up as an ISKCON affiliated, yet independent project, based upon Srila Prabhupada’s instructions and inspiration, to help the Indian/Hindu leaders in America to understand, appreciate and vigorously propagate the message of Vedas/sanatan dharma as presented by Srila Prabhupada. The first step being that of helping many of these so-called leaders accept Srila Prabhupada as their guru. Then, with the massive distribution, in millions, of Srila Prabhupada’s books with the help of the affluent Indian community, speed up the process of fulfilling Srila Prabhupada’s desire to see a Vaishnava in the White House as the President of America!

Whatever a pure devotee of the Lord desires—it is already done! We can simply be an instrument in the unfolding of that desire!!

The ocean of mercy Jagad-guru Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!!

Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadhishji ki jaya!!

Hare Krishna.

Ram Parashar, BSc MSc, currently lives in the Los Angeles devotee community with his wife and two young children. His main service is building links with and preaching to members of the Indian community throughout the United States.