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June 19, 2004

Dear Srila Bhaktipada,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

It was wonderful seeing you again at the NYC Interfaith Sanctuary last Wednesday and Thursday after nearly eleven years of separation. I was very glad to see that you looked healthy, despite being confined to a wheelchair. Thank you for asking Adi Purusha to invite me. I had a wonderful time with you and my godbrothers and sisters.

I tried to stay in the background on Wednesday evening when you arrived, as I knew that your dedicated disciples who have faithfully served you during your exile were very eager for and more deserving of your association.

However, the next morning before aroti, I was pushed from my hiding place by Kevala Bhakti, who handed me an accordion, and requested that I sing the “Blazing Fire of Samsara” prayers. I suggested that one of the sannyasis might like to lead, but he insisted, “They sing all the time. We want you to sing.”

I love that song; such beautiful poetry by Hayagriva, and melody by my humble self. “The blazing fire of samsara afflicts us all life after life, but gurudev is gentle rain, extinguishing our mortal strife.”

At one or more points during the “Hare Krishna” refrain, I hardly could continue; I was simply caught up in the moment of thanking Krishna for sending you to save me from the blazing fire of samsara. Who else can I thank? You convinced me to take up spiritual life, you accepted me as your disciple, you taught me practically everything I know about devotional service. I was feeling great love and gratitude for you, and during the kirtan my voice choked up and tears came to my eyes.

I was feeling a little embarrassed because of my strong emotions (but not terribly embarrassed, because I knew most of the devotees well enough to know that they would understand my heartfelt feelings and appreciate them), and I tried to hide by looking down at the floor; but somehow by Krishna’s mercy I managed to continue singing with wavering voice. Although I was not looking at you directly, I thought that you were also experiencing similar emotions.

You confirmed this later, maybe it was immediately before your class, or after (I don’t remember), when you spoke to me personally in front of the congregation, and acknowledged how my kirtan had brought tears to your eyes. That was very sweet of you. I replied, “The feelings are mutual.”

Later during the day, so many devotees came to me and commented on the kirtan. Some described with awe and amazement the tears in your eyes. They said that my kirtan had touched your heart and their hearts. It was a certainly wonderful moment, a gift from Krishna. These moments cannot be produced on demand, nor can they be completely suppressed, we can only thank Krishna when they come.

Later Adi Purusha spoke to me about various other topics, one of which was his new sticker (enclosed) which he distributes while picking for Laksmi: “Relax. Be patient. Just do the right thing. You’ll never regret it, ‘n’ the Good Lord will bless you.” He related several stories about people who gave a donation for the sticker on the pick, and who later returned to tell him how this simple message had changed their lives for the better.

I humbly request that you also “do the right thing.”

Certainly you have performed great austerities during the last eight years in prison, and no doubt you have learned many lessons. Your welcome address was wonderful. You said that the worship you receive from your disciples and well wishers is not meant for you, it is meant for Krishna. I noticed also that you were careful not to receive this worship in the presence of the deities; you asked the pujari to close the curtains. This brought joy to my heart, for it appeared to demonstrate, in a small way, your newly-acquired humility, a virtue given from Krishna to you because you desired it.

However, there is much more for you to do to fully demonstrate your humility. I do not have to tell you the story about Durvasa Muni and Maharaja Ambarish. You, like Durvasa Muni, have offended the Vaishnavas. Numberless offenses. Grievous offenses. There is much work for you to do. Difficult work; painful work. You must make apologies and beg forgiveness. And you must begin with those who are most intimate with you, your faithful disciples. Only in this way will Krishna be pleased and bless you and your disciples.

You must gather your disciples together and apologize to them. You must explain that you had gradually become proud after Prabhupada passed away, so much so that you thought you were God’s gift to the world. You became proud of your position as an ISKCON guru. You became proud that you were the mastermind behind the building of Prabhupada’s Palace. You became proud that New Vrindaban had grown to become the largest ISKCON center in North America. You falsely believed that you were Prabhupada’s heir; his only true disciple following in his footsteps. You falsely believed you were the “World Acharya.”

You offended and insulted your godbrothers by words and deeds. You also offended young men and boys (according to some credible accounts as early as 1979). You offended two devotees and their families by permitting (if not authorizing) their murders, because you were afraid of what they knew about you, about your inability to resist Maya’s seductive temptations. You were afraid of losing honor and respect. A sannyasi is supposed to be fearless, but you were filled with fear.

I am sure you realize that you deserve much more than only ten years in prison. Krishna let you off easy, perhaps so that you can rectify yourself in the company of the Vaishnavas before you die. If you should pass away before making peace with the Vaishnavas, your fate will be bleak in your next life. Even if you remember Krishna at the moment of death, will Krishna permit you to return to him if you do not first seek forgiveness from the Vaishnavas?

You are not getting any younger, Bhaktipada. You have expended the major portion of your life, and your body is now overtaken by invalidity. Your miserly body will certainly dwindle and deteriorate like an old garment.

What will happen to your disciples after your death? At your homecoming there were less than fifty devotees; not a huge amount. And most of them stayed far away at the back of the temple room during your lecture, even when I requested them to come forward and sit closer. Later on during the day I overheard some angry words spoken by one disciple to another. It seems to me, that some of your disciples may not be able to perfectly cooperate together without your leadership after you pass away.

Even Bhakti Yoga Swami, an advanced and dedicated disciple who has accomplished a most wonderful thing by building a beautiful temple in Rishikesh, did so nearly single handedly. Despite his preaching attempts, he has not attracted many full time devotees in Rishikesh, maybe less than a dozen. I understand he is still fighting lawsuits from ISKCON. What will happen in Rishikesh after Bhakti Yoga Swami passes away? What will happen to your legacy?

First you should explain everything to your disciples and apologize to them. Very soon. Within a week or two, before your Indian sannyasis return to their homeland. They should remain in ignorance no longer. Many of your disciples believe that you were banished from New Vrindaban, and convicted in court, unfairly, as evidenced from this homage written by one Pakistani disciple which was published in your 2002 Vyasa Puja book:

“Our beloved Gurudev Srila Bhaktipada Maharaja is the only disciple who built the Golden Temple in West Virginia on the instructions of his gurudev, Srila Prabhupadaji Maharaja. During the construction, he took his bath in melted ice water and ate only popped rice. This is not only a temple but it is a heaven on earth because it is so beautiful and green just like the Vrindaban of Krishna, so that’s why it’s called New Vrindaban. If a person goes there for a visit he will never want to return back.

“But our beloved Gurudev left New Vrindaban at the insistence of ISKCON devotees; but this is the evidence of a real devotee of Krishna because he doesn’t need this temporary material thing. He needs only the eternal love of guru and Krishna. This is the reason that he didn’t feel any sorrow at the time of leaving it.”—Santosh dasa, Karachi, Pakistan, p. 34.

Your disciples should know that you were rejected from New Vrindaban not by envious ISKCON devotees, but by your own disciples and followers because of your own abuses and duplicity. By your posturing you created enmity between godbrothers and godsisters, which continues to this day because of your own shallowness and inability to confess your sins.

During one conversation with Eternal Love Prabhu on Wednesday, I remarked that “one ISKCON guru told me that Bhaktipada has done some of the greatest work for ISKCON, but he also has done some of the greatest harm.” She indignantly countered, “That is just enviousness! When a great man like Bhaktipada does some wonderful thing, there are always people who criticize. Slander comes automatically with great fame.” She obviously does not know what really happened.

Granted, many ISKCON leaders were envious, and slandered you without just cause; but more often than not, you gave them more than enough cause. Your godbrothers may not be perfect, but neither are you, and most importantly, you cannot receive forgiveness from Prabhupada (or Krishna) without first asking forgiveness from them.

Many years ago, after you had offended Prabhupada and the Vaishnavas during the autumn of 1967 (among other things, stealing from New York ISKCON various worthless items such as candlesticks which you and Hayagriva had earlier donated to the temple!), you finally apologized to Prabhupada in a letter dated May 13, 1968. Two months later, during July of that year you personally humbled yourself before Prabhupada in Montreal, and begged forgiveness for your offenses. You presented Prabhupada with a quart of blackberry chutney, and one of raspberry jam made from wild berries picked at New Vrindaban. Prabhupada “forgave his renegade disciples in Montreal with a garland of roses and a shower of tears.” (Hayagriva dasa, “Chant,” Brijabasi Spirit, November 1981, 20.)

At that time, it was much easier for you to make amends; Prabhupada was personally present, and you could approach him directly. After Prabhupada forgave you, he instructed all his disciples to also forgive you. “Let us forget about our past incidences with Hayagriva and Kirtanananda. Treat Kirtanananda as bona fide and address him as Kirtanananda Maharaja. He should be first offered obeisances and he will return the respect to his godbrothers. . . . Please be brotherly with Hayagriva and Kirtanananda. They have come back with sincerity.” (Letter to Brahmananda dated July 29, 1968)

Now Prabhupada is not personally present anymore to forgive you and intercede on your behalf. Therefore, YOU MUST BEG FORGIVENESS DIRECTLY FROM YOUR GODBROTHERS.

First, as I explained above, you must confess everything to your disciples and beg their forgiveness. They will not reject you. They love you. To them, you can do no wrong. Some of them ALREADY KNOW about your faults, but they continue to serve you because they love you, despite your faults. Your disciples will see your apology as a manifestation of the virtue of humility, and it will make them love you more. It will also teach them how they should humble themselves, admit their mistakes, and respect and serve their godbrothers and godsisters.

However, Bhaktipada, it will not be so easy to receive the forgiveness from your godbrothers, former gurukula boys, and the families of the murdered devotees. But you must try, and keep persistently trying for the rest of your life. Your offenses are not something which they can easily forgive and forget. It may take many years of prostrations. But you must not give up.

If you “do the right thing” now, your life will become glorious again. At the present moment you are dishonored, and for one who has been honored, dishonor is worse than death. Your enemies will describe you in unkind words and scorn your ability. Thus they will consider you a coward. What could be more painful for you?

Do not be a coward, Bhaktipada. Be fearless, like a true sannyasi, and do the “right thing.” Certainly you should “thank Krishna for the present moment as it is,” as you instruct your disciples, but you must also be “willing to do whatever he wants or whatever will give him pleasure.”

After you offended Prabhupada and your godbrothers in 1967, Prabhupada aptly compared you and Hayagriva to the rascals Jagai and Madhai, and emphatically declared, “Kirtanananda is a crazy man,” in one letter to Rayaram dated November 9, 1967. I dare say you are still a crazy man if you think for one moment that you or your disciples will ultimately become successful in Krishna conscious if you do not apologize immediately to the Vaishnavas.

Krishna has mercifully given you another chance to rectify yourself within the company of devotees. Please do not waste this precious human form of life. You always preached to me to “do the right thing.” Now I am preaching the same thing to you.

You have said that sometimes “the child is the father of the man.” Certainly I am your eternal disciple. You saved me from the blazing fire of material existence and taught me everything I know about Krishna consciousness. I can never repay this debt to you. But now I am instructing you out of love.

You know that I have always served you faithfully. I have never spoken maliciously about you. In fact, just a few days ago, I received a telephone call from a man claiming to be a freelance journalist, who heard that I was writing a book about New Vrindaban. He asked me what I thought of you. I replied, “Bhaktipada is definitely a very advanced devotee.”

I pray that you will become even more advanced, and that you will “do the right thing,” and place yourself as a humble speck of dirt at the feet of the Vaishnavas. One who thinks himself lower than the grass, who is more tolerant than a tree, and who does not expect personal honor yet is always prepared to give all respect to others, can very easily always chant the holy name of the Lord.

I humbly request, Bhaktipada, that you deliberate on this fully, and then do what you wish to do. Because you are my very dear friend, I am speaking to you for your benefit. Thank you, Bhaktipada, for doing “the right thing.”

Sincerely your disciple, friend and well wisher,

Hrishikesh